John Mulaney, 7.31.10

I think I’m in love.

No, really. John Mulaney, if there’s a chance in hell you’re reading this, let’s get married. I’ve had a major crush on you ever since you ranted about Girl Scout cookies on Weekend Update. You don’t need that three-foot-five girlfriend you mentioned in your routine. You need ME.

Okay, so besides the fact that I think this guy is ADORABLE, he’s also brilliant and hilarious and inspiring. He’s 27, but he’s got the timing and the pronunciation and the stage presence of what I imagine Seinfeld was like at that age. Confident, but not so confident that he assumes he can make fun of everyone in the audience. He listens when the audience shouts at him, he knows who is stupid and who is just nervous, and he makes sex jokes without actually self-deprecating himself or anyone he knows. That’s an accomplishment.

But then again, so is being a writer on SNL and having one of the most interesting, truthful, observant, hysterical, engaging comedic voices out there right now. He talked about everything from proctology exams to girl scout cookies to his (classic) bit “The Best Meal I Ever Had” to the streets of San Francisco. Just go see him. I’m not going to tell you any more about him. I wouldn’t want you to come in-between us anyway.

The openers were 2/3 awesome; I say that because the first woman, Mary Von something-or-other, was unfortunately a horrible mix of the worst parts of Sarah Silverman and Kirsten Schaal. In that she had short curly hair, a high-pitched voice, and made too many penis jokes. She was, quite simply, not funny. Following her, however, was a guest-comic who apparently writes for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I am bummed that I can’t remember his name; it was Ultra-Jewish, if that helps anyone. Anyway, this guy was great. He had this cartoonish hipster look and a fast-paced way of telling intricate, tangential, descriptive jokes, and he ended his mini-set at just the right time, to leave us wanting more of his quasi-campfire stories. And then there was Sheng Wang, the Asian Mitch Hedberg. And I mean that in the best way; he had a bit of the monotone going for him, but he definitely had a set, rather than a list of one-liners. I laughed pretty hard at this guy because he was so honest about everything. As you can tell, I prefer honest comics. Go see these people. It’s a tough business.