New Moon

I guess it should be a point of pride when people are surprised that you want/went to see this movie. But I did both. And no, I haven’t read the books. Maybe someday. Right now I’m in the middle of “Dreams from my Father” (and have been for quite awhile, stupid MUNI buses preventing me from reading with their stop-go turbulence) and I have many more books ahead of “Twilight” on the proverbial queue. But I digress.

The whole notion of Twilight (or vampire love stories, for that matter) is like candy. Really delicious, unhealthy, mass-produced, attractive candy. The movie wasn’t great by any means; Kristen Stewart is a sorry excuse for an actress, Robby-Bobby (nickname courtesy my darling roommate) isn’t much better, and the whole notion of shirtless man-wolves was simply hysterical. It was impossible not to laugh at Taylor Lautner’s never-nude cutoffs, though I think the pre-pubescent oiled-up hottie may have delivered the best “acting performance” in the whole film. Dakota Fanning? That guy from fucking “Frost/Nixon”? Please. These people were so blatantly in it for the money/exposure, it just made me want to puke. But they were thoroughly amusing.

I do want to say that the story of Twilight is completely fascinating. Besides the fact that it’s totally hot that there’s a vampire that’d resist sucking the blood of a human because he loves her THAT MUCH, it’s interesting to see how human love is portrayed and what people think it’s capable of, especially under such fantastical circumstances. I’m interested in an opposite storyline, where the woman must resist blood-sucking for the love of a human man. Has that ever been done? I hope so.

I’ll continue seeing the Twilight movies. Maybe even voluntarily. But don’t expect me to take them seriously.