Pretty Woman

Thanks to my mother, I’ve never really liked Julia Roberts that much. It’s the laugh. It’s so distracting. You know it’s her, and then you can’t get into the fact that she’s playing a character. I don’t know. She’s a fine actress, though, so I should give her that. It’s just that her latest projects, save for Erin Brockovich, have been, well, bad. That one with Tom Hanks? Terrible. This one with Clive Owen? Okay, Owen looks like a total sexpot but other than that, it’s standard Roberts fare.

But, um, OMG PRETTY WOMAN. NO WONDER SHE’S FAMOUS. Pardon the statement from Captain Obvious, as it took me a little while to see this one, but Gere and Roberts have the most amazing chemistry! It’s so cute! I can’t even stand it! I know I’m acting like a schoolgirl here, but come on! It’s really hard not to love this movie. And while I’m not really familiar with the relationship between a hooker and a rich dude, I’d like to think that this is it. It’s a sweet, beautiful story, and I totally got sucked in. It’s refreshing to see both of them playing such pure characters, too, rather than boring mutations of themselves, which is basically what both of their careers have consisted of in the last ten years (uh, Nights in Rodanthe? Come on, Gere. You can do better than a “Middle-Age Romance” tag on IMDb. Also, the title is weird.) She is wild, reckless and innocent at the same time while he is uptight, mysterious and sensitive. Her story is one that needed to be told, and while these are certainly the most ideal circumstances, I’m really glad it was told. It’s a glimpse into a strange, unfortunate but real world.

And, excuse me for not getting to this earlier, but DAMN RICHARD GERE IS HOT. Is it the salt-and-pepper hair, which he’s been rocking for quite some time? Is it his conservative disposition? Is it the way he cups her face in this incredibly hot scene? All of the above, plus a fill in the blank:

It’s so tasteful! And hot! And did you SEE his back? Backs are hot. I will say that this clip is perfectly edited, because just after the 2:24 mark, Roberts ruins the moment by mouthing “I love you,” at which point I definitely yelled at the TV in disgust upon first viewing. And there is this random scene in the “courtship montage,” as I like to call it, where they’re literally riding horses for 30 seconds. It doesn’t connect to anything, not even the fact that they go to a horse race later. It’s dumb. But other than that, hot damn. I probably could have used other words besides “hot,” but why put the star player on the bench?